The Weight of Opinions We Never Asked For

A few days ago, I shared this exact photo on social media.

The reason was simple.

Years ago, I lost my hat that I loved, and I was hoping to find something similar.

That was it.

A simple question.

Most people responded exactly as you’d expect. They shared ideas, suggestions, and recommendations.

But a few responses took a completely different turn.

Some people offered opinions about whether the hat suited me.

Others questioned why my face was visible in the photo at all.

One person even compared it to the old stereotype of a woman asking, “Does my bum look big in this?”

Except… that wasn’t the question or the point of the post.

I wasn’t asking for an assessment of my appearance.

I was looking for a hat.

And I’ll admit — I found it irritating.

Not because people had opinions.

We all have opinions.

But because it highlighted something I see happen all the time:

Sometimes, often without realising it, something creates discomfort within us.

And instead of sitting with that discomfort, we try to resolve it by placing it somewhere else.

We judge.

We compare.

We make assumptions.

We create a story.

And sometimes we share that story — even when nobody asked for it.

Not because we are bad people.

But because we are human.

We see the world through the lens of our own experiences, beliefs, fears, preferences and insecurities.

Someone sees a photo and thinks:

"That’s not how I would present myself."

Someone sees a choice and thinks:

"I wouldn’t do that."

The same situation can create completely different reactions depending on the person looking at it.

But here’s the important part:

Their perception and reaction belong to them.

And when they share it, that doesn’t automatically make it yours.

This doesn’t mean we should ignore constructive feedback.

It doesn’t mean every opinion is wrong.

It means we need discernment.

The ability to pause and ask:

“Is this actually mine to carry?”

Because when we lose connection with ourselves, we can start collecting things that were never meant for us.

We explain ourselves.

We defend our choices.

We adjust ourselves to make others more comfortable.

We hand over our internal authority to people who were never responsible for our direction.

This is where self-trust matters.

Self-trust isn’t about needing everyone to agree with you or accept you as you are.

It’s about knowing yourself well enough to hear another perspective without immediately taking it on.

It’s not about proving your point or making sure everyone understands you.

It’s about being grounded enough to know what belongs to you — and what doesn’t.

Sometimes self-trust looks like speaking up.

Sometimes it looks like being open to feedback.

And sometimes it looks like knowing when not to engage.

Because not every opinion requires a response.

Not every comment deserves your energy.

Sometimes we can simply acknowledge it…

…and leave it where it belongs.

Because not every opinion deserves a seat at your table.

As for me?

I was just looking for a hat. 😉

PS: And if you’re the one offering the judgement publicly, perhaps another question is worth asking:

“What is this bringing up in me, and why do I feel the need to share it?”

Because sometimes the most valuable insight isn’t found in what we notice about others…

…it’s found in what their choices bring up within us.

Mia x